Marriages can be great and very rewarding, but they can also
be hard. Too hard sometimes. Throw mental illness into the mix, and it can
seem like it’s not worth the effort.
To be honest, there are periods when I don’t want to work on
our relationship. I want him to do all the work and meet my needs
and understand that I just can’t meet his right now because I have so much on
my plate! He needs to appreciate that I’m
at least giving him my leftover time! So
many others need me, and I’m being torn in so many directions with so many
emotions!
During one season, I tried to be super volunteer, super
friend, and super mom—all of which made me a not-so-super wife. Volunteering is good, but I was overdoing it. My friendships were important, too, but they took
precedence over my husband. As for being
“super mom”, I was certain that I was the only one that could
___________________ for my children. Sure,
I probably could help them better than others could, but others could also help
them if only I’d let them. Finally, I
needed to make better choices about “self-care”. Yes, some things—many things—had to give.
In the end, I needed to make my husband a priority. It wasn’t hard to do, but it took focus…
Taking short but meaningful walks in the neighborhood. Sending him encouraging texts for no reason
or slipping notes into his lunch. Going
for an ice-cream cone at McDonald’s (think “cheap date”) and sitting and talking
about our dreams or hopes. Intentionally
asking how we can pray for each other. Choosing
to not talk about our kids. Knowing his
love language and loving him in that way.
Intentional. Proactive. Focused.
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